weak-me. Cannot even tell for sure, if it's the sudden change of weather circumstances, allergy (of what?), or cold. Obviously it is cannot be the N1H1.
It must the exhaustion ... both physically and emotionally. The 3-4 hours of not-really-quality-sleep, all the work and the traveling and commuting (taxi is just way too costly even in Nagoya, let alone Tokyo)
...
was how I was starting my blog entry. But now I am in far better shape and all business-like, except for my running nose that is :D
Now that I can think of the trip to Japan with clearer heads, cannot help being amazed with my strength. There is a huge difference between looking and things and people through a foreign student's eyes and those of a business delegation. Even about some people, I could not help thinking "If that's how he would be/act at work, too, we would/not need someone like him." The very short time was to be used to the greatest possible effect and me having all those friends could not just not inform them, even if late, about me being there. That lead to some late night get- togethers, which meant less and less time for me to take nap.
The following mornings, I woke up usually without the need of the alarm, with red eyes, but even with not much to eat since I had much of neither time nor appetite, my poor body cooped so well that I almost wanted to be proud of it.
The energizer also for the otherwise-hectic trip were the trans/electro music thankfully copied to my iPod by my brother. Shower, some water, a mouthful of yogurt/juice and I was up and going, heading for the first place to be there with the music playing in my ears.
If to believe, what many people including my mum criticize such genres of music and the listeners the music with exact same beat, which at times sound like I.V machines and the listeners are like some sort of robots
IF to believe. that I was acting very zombie like obviously. Form-wise that might be the case, but I knew I was very different and very live and conscious of all the things: tried to make the music not too loud esp. when commuting as to be not to be considered as noise pollution, what was more interesting was even the very nature of the otherwise-can-be-nagging music, could not keep my mind and heart of all the things that had/had to/yet had to happen to/around me.
Thanks again for existing of such music, my brother who unintentionally made such trance-like experience possible, also the chance to be on this trip as a whole.
I'm gonna RIDE LIKE THE WIND ...
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Is there a SOULmate for EVERYone?!
A song, I got "introduced to" by an acquaintance, that seems to ask one of the most common yet the most complex question:
Incompatible, it don't matter though
'cos someone's bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
you're not easy to find
Is it possible Mr. Loveable
is already in my life?
right in front of me
or maybe you're in disguise
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone
Here we are again, circles never end
how do I find the perfect fit
there's enough for everyone
but I'm still waiting in line
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone
Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone
Incompatible, it don't matter though
'cos someone's bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
you're not easy to find
Is it possible Mr. Loveable
is already in my life?
right in front of me
or maybe you're in disguise
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone
Here we are again, circles never end
how do I find the perfect fit
there's enough for everyone
but I'm still waiting in line
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone
Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Close to action, even closer to the people
Recently I got back from a 10-day work-trip in the Gobi desert, which, for instance to Americans, sounds like the absolute ends of the earth.
9.25 quality days spent under the open sky.
I got to work with the mining service crew from work, finally! Although I have been to many mine sites as well the company offices, none of those was the personal and exciting... Since we have a contract work with a foreign mining company working here, it is interesting, fun yet challenging to get to experience all of these things together:
the Gobi dessert which is so grand on so many levels, the beauty of the blue sky without a trace of cloud, the at times merciless sand storm that can be hard for even those not working outside all the time ... also having a poisonous spider as pets and feeding them with a kind of grasshopper and raw meat from cafeteria, a ger (Mongolian traditional dwelling) camp almost in the middle of nowhere, ger in spite its simplicity does have real feeling of "homy-ness" to it although it served as place to sleep in and warehouse for all our clothes(including PPEs) busy people like us, the constant warm breeze brushing through the top of the ger which sounded like sweet lullaby for people like me especially the first night as I had to be at the airport at 3.30 for the flight, the 2-weeks but if-and-when-necessary-can-be-extended-to-3weeks shift, the fact of being only 30 something kilometers from Mongolian border with China.
Combination of all these at one time or another seemed to check people against their limits one way or another.
Even happier I am for the fact that I got to see, meet and also hear about many people. To some of whom I had some connection even before meeting probably owing to the fact that it is a small world, partially owing to the fact that Mongolian population is even "smaller".
People working at the big-and-expanding-mine, most of whom are obviously men, not just men but real men strong in more than one sense of the word, as such so different from ordinary, business-like, metro ... (khm) guys you see at offices. How they really concentrate on ONLY their work and does not complain about this and that small details and put all their wit and strength into the hard and dangerous works at hand and how they can be still cool with the excellent result of their work! I could not help but feel all the emotions including being sympathetic, happy and proud of them! The real sun-burnt, sweaty heroes, who at times does not seem to be appreciated for their hard work.
Since I was the number one person in order, the "the representative of the HQ Management team" in flesh and blood, was at liberty to "allow" myself to literally work with the guys from our company crew. This in itself was nothing like I've ever done before. It made me see the real ups and downs of such kind of work and understand much more and better about my colleagues and where/when/how they really work and live. I was more than happy to boast etc., about them after I was back to UB.
The usually-official-me in (skirts/trousers & blouses/suit) in all those PPEs working in the field for 12hours just like everyone else, instead of tiptoeing around the camp and talking to and/or hanging with ONLY the managerial level guys there. It was just awesomely challenging and interesting.
All in all, cannot help being thankful for such many different kinds of work/engagements that are out there that enables us to see and get know the different people, even more interestingly the various sides to a single person.
I will try and make sure I shall have more of these adventures ...
9.25 quality days spent under the open sky.
I got to work with the mining service crew from work, finally! Although I have been to many mine sites as well the company offices, none of those was the personal and exciting... Since we have a contract work with a foreign mining company working here, it is interesting, fun yet challenging to get to experience all of these things together:
the Gobi dessert which is so grand on so many levels, the beauty of the blue sky without a trace of cloud, the at times merciless sand storm that can be hard for even those not working outside all the time ... also having a poisonous spider as pets and feeding them with a kind of grasshopper and raw meat from cafeteria, a ger (Mongolian traditional dwelling) camp almost in the middle of nowhere, ger in spite its simplicity does have real feeling of "homy-ness" to it although it served as place to sleep in and warehouse for all our clothes(including PPEs) busy people like us, the constant warm breeze brushing through the top of the ger which sounded like sweet lullaby for people like me especially the first night as I had to be at the airport at 3.30 for the flight, the 2-weeks but if-and-when-necessary-can-be-extended-to-3weeks shift, the fact of being only 30 something kilometers from Mongolian border with China.
Combination of all these at one time or another seemed to check people against their limits one way or another.
Even happier I am for the fact that I got to see, meet and also hear about many people. To some of whom I had some connection even before meeting probably owing to the fact that it is a small world, partially owing to the fact that Mongolian population is even "smaller".
People working at the big-and-expanding-mine, most of whom are obviously men, not just men but real men strong in more than one sense of the word, as such so different from ordinary, business-like, metro ... (khm) guys you see at offices. How they really concentrate on ONLY their work and does not complain about this and that small details and put all their wit and strength into the hard and dangerous works at hand and how they can be still cool with the excellent result of their work! I could not help but feel all the emotions including being sympathetic, happy and proud of them! The real sun-burnt, sweaty heroes, who at times does not seem to be appreciated for their hard work.
Since I was the number one person in order, the "the representative of the HQ Management team" in flesh and blood, was at liberty to "allow" myself to literally work with the guys from our company crew. This in itself was nothing like I've ever done before. It made me see the real ups and downs of such kind of work and understand much more and better about my colleagues and where/when/how they really work and live. I was more than happy to boast etc., about them after I was back to UB.
The usually-official-me in (skirts/trousers & blouses/suit) in all those PPEs working in the field for 12hours just like everyone else, instead of tiptoeing around the camp and talking to and/or hanging with ONLY the managerial level guys there. It was just awesomely challenging and interesting.
All in all, cannot help being thankful for such many different kinds of work/engagements that are out there that enables us to see and get know the different people, even more interestingly the various sides to a single person.
I will try and make sure I shall have more of these adventures ...
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Quality over Quantity
This might be a rather strange title for this blog entry. But here is the thing, lately I have seen tons of photos with sakura (the cherry blossom), which is unofficial symbol of Japan and the questions rose again : What is it that is so special about this flower? Why even the great poets and the alike get their inspiration from this flower? Why the constant excitement about hanami when people gather together under cherry trees.
I am not botanic(-ian), so I would not know great details but, this, at least to me, looks like a picture from your ordinary secondary school textbook.
So, the question "What is the big deal?!". If you look at this close-view, it obviously is not one of the most beautiful flowers, even the about the fact the tree is fully covered in the cherry blossom, it is not alone. Neither, I believe, is it alone in category that it blossoms for a short period.
So ... Why? Now, here is my opinion:
May be (told like Will Smith to his son in "Pursuit of happiness") it has to do with the idea of Quality over Quantity as it does not stay for too long and thus is expected for some even with anxiety and also enjoyed, cherished and even loved. The law of economics(?) of scarce and in-need things being more valuable?
May be it has to do with both Quality and Quantity or the fact that the short period it is there happens so rapid and yet so full complete and full. Even from the moment the green buds come out on the branches till the simple-yet-magnetic-thus-amazing flowers blossom and then fall making the area around it beautiful with white, pinkish with "snow flakes". So from the moment it starts to appear until all is well and gone, one just cannot miss it.
Maybe the same thing can be applied to people's life:
May be what some people say about not wanting to live too long if one grows old and weak and especially if sick and need lots of care etc., That is, of course, regardless of what the children has to say.
May be that is another reason to enjoy simple and beautiful things in life when and while we still can. That must be what Confucius meant with "Be sure to stop and smell the flowers sometimes".
That must be why some people who could live a life really their own even if not very long, who went against all the odds, sometimes even including the people around themselves, stayed true to themselves, enjoyed what they were doing, and thus made changes for/to the people, lives around themselves are remembered, reminisced over sometimes when it is in fact too late, missed, and even expected to be born again.
Just like sakura
Quality and/or Quantity.
I am not botanic(-ian), so I would not know great details but, this, at least to me, looks like a picture from your ordinary secondary school textbook.
So, the question "What is the big deal?!". If you look at this close-view, it obviously is not one of the most beautiful flowers, even the about the fact the tree is fully covered in the cherry blossom, it is not alone. Neither, I believe, is it alone in category that it blossoms for a short period.
So ... Why? Now, here is my opinion:
May be (told like Will Smith to his son in "Pursuit of happiness") it has to do with the idea of Quality over Quantity as it does not stay for too long and thus is expected for some even with anxiety and also enjoyed, cherished and even loved. The law of economics(?) of scarce and in-need things being more valuable?
May be it has to do with both Quality and Quantity or the fact that the short period it is there happens so rapid and yet so full complete and full. Even from the moment the green buds come out on the branches till the simple-yet-magnetic-thus-amazing flowers blossom and then fall making the area around it beautiful with white, pinkish with "snow flakes". So from the moment it starts to appear until all is well and gone, one just cannot miss it.
Maybe the same thing can be applied to people's life:
May be what some people say about not wanting to live too long if one grows old and weak and especially if sick and need lots of care etc., That is, of course, regardless of what the children has to say.
May be that is another reason to enjoy simple and beautiful things in life when and while we still can. That must be what Confucius meant with "Be sure to stop and smell the flowers sometimes".
That must be why some people who could live a life really their own even if not very long, who went against all the odds, sometimes even including the people around themselves, stayed true to themselves, enjoyed what they were doing, and thus made changes for/to the people, lives around themselves are remembered, reminisced over sometimes when it is in fact too late, missed, and even expected to be born again.
Just like sakura
Quality and/or Quantity.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Feelings
feeling of happiness
you get when you know you have been missed by the people who are also dear to you, when you haven't been "available", when you have not contacted them for some time, when you hear their excited sometimes-even-shrieking voice over the phone, when somebody gives you a wholehearted hug
feeling of recognition
you get when you realize time and time again that people are different, when it dawns on you once again that there is only so much we can do to try to make ourselves understood, when things turn out so different from how you expected, may be even carefully calculated
feeling of contentment
you get when you realize that the way you look at some things have changed so much over time, when you notice that the-you-before-some-time probably would not have had known how to even look at the matter at hand
feeling of excitement
you get when you meet someone new who seems to share some similar views about things, when you think of how you might connect and what adventures to enjoy as well as challenges to overcome together may lay ahead
the list could go on and on but ...
What it all comes down to is:
Regardless of what life brings to us, especially for the big part we bring upon ourselves, we do have the ultimate freedom to feel the way we want to.
it is all about feelings...
So why not feel as realistic yet as positive as possible
you get when you know you have been missed by the people who are also dear to you, when you haven't been "available", when you have not contacted them for some time, when you hear their excited sometimes-even-shrieking voice over the phone, when somebody gives you a wholehearted hug
feeling of recognition
you get when you realize time and time again that people are different, when it dawns on you once again that there is only so much we can do to try to make ourselves understood, when things turn out so different from how you expected, may be even carefully calculated
feeling of contentment
you get when you realize that the way you look at some things have changed so much over time, when you notice that the-you-before-some-time probably would not have had known how to even look at the matter at hand
feeling of excitement
you get when you meet someone new who seems to share some similar views about things, when you think of how you might connect and what adventures to enjoy as well as challenges to overcome together may lay ahead
the list could go on and on but ...
What it all comes down to is:
Regardless of what life brings to us, especially for the big part we bring upon ourselves, we do have the ultimate freedom to feel the way we want to.
it is all about feelings...
So why not feel as realistic yet as positive as possible
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Miss you
Today after work, went to meet and see off a friend. Since taking the taxi would have been costly yet would have consumed as much time as public transportation, walked with a guy from work by taking a shortcut. Although, I have been exercising and walking rather often lately, none of it was enjoyed as much as the walking today.
-- On the way, had to cross the Bars Bridge (Barsiin Guur) over the rails of the Ulaanbaatar Terminal, after what has been 11 years. I remember how the bridge was still very new, the surrounding with much less people and how it looked enormous and impressive for a daddy's little girl. I remember going with me dad to meet my dad's friend and also see him off. Now do tell me about deja vu. After the 11 years, today as I was walking on that bridge, I remembered how my dad held my hand while we were walking the stairs which are almost as tall as 2-storey builging, and how we sat on the top of the stairs and he explained to me about the railroad system in UB, Mongolia and how he used/advanced what he had learned about back in the USSR and how what he learnt there and here helped him understand much more about things other than his job and jobs other than what he originally studied... Although the almost-void-of-people surrounding was impressively big and empty, my dad to me seemed so big and strong and even unbeatable... It was one of those moments where I had so many questions "Why/how ... this/that?" and feeling overwhelmed and proud of my dad answering all of these questions in a way that was so easy to understand but yet not over-simplified and could satisfy my curiosity just fine.
-- Half an hour walk also included having to cross the Dundgol, which sadly, now is not even a stream (hopefully yet). Yet there still remain some small trees and bushes and with the warm weather you could see fresh green baby grasses/leaves coming out. This reminded me, again, of my childhood. How when the spring came my dad used to take me and my sister our for a walk and to play outside/on the sand. Then he would make sure that we were not to step on the baby grasses and explained to us that they were like human babies, so fragile and weak and trying to make it through the tough time. Also he somehow convinced us to play so that the candy wrapping and other small garbage such as bottle caps etc., were to be collected and used as either money or candies (by wrapping small stones in them). So we used to have real sharp eyes for any unnatural even-if-not-colorful-stuffs laying in the ground or on trees :) Add to it my mum's love for flowers. My mum still has many different flowers and loves them so much that when she has to leave home for sometime the flowers are to be given as much attention as our pet dog. Mum, dad, thanks so much for raising us -city kids with supposedly "white hands" - with this much respect and love for nature.
-- When I went on a business trip with coworkers from work to countryside, I was so saddened to see all the garbage and bottle scattered in the otherwise clean nature, all the roads drawn so close to each other oftentimes overlapping at several point without much difference from one another all scarring the valleys and mountains ... as proof of impatience. I could not help thinking when I am retired and not volunteering in foreign countries, I shall make sure I spend time cleaning such mess, destruction even (if sadly enough the situation is still similar), if not training/talking to children, youth about the simple beauty of nature as part of joy to life.
-- Also I was lucky enough to enjoy company of an older guy, close to your age and two younger guys in the pick-up. As much as the the younger guys were fun to be with, with much things in common to talk and reminisce about, also as much as I enjoyed the older guy who was half-jokingly saying "I will make sure you meet my boy" as he also studied in Russia and has extensive experience of working, thus broad knowledge about life and work in the countryside as well,
Nothing beats you, noone impresses, moves me as YOU do DAD, and I miss you!
-- During the trip I had a dream about you. You seemed to tell me to take things as they are now and that you were happy to be remembered (to say the least) the way you were and that you WILL be back to me/us in your time. I could feel the warmth of a smile following the dream through my whole being, with my eyes closed, before I got up the next morning.
You are the inspiration
Why?Because it brought all the memories.. even those about memories
-- On the way, had to cross the Bars Bridge (Barsiin Guur) over the rails of the Ulaanbaatar Terminal, after what has been 11 years. I remember how the bridge was still very new, the surrounding with much less people and how it looked enormous and impressive for a daddy's little girl. I remember going with me dad to meet my dad's friend and also see him off. Now do tell me about deja vu. After the 11 years, today as I was walking on that bridge, I remembered how my dad held my hand while we were walking the stairs which are almost as tall as 2-storey builging, and how we sat on the top of the stairs and he explained to me about the railroad system in UB, Mongolia and how he used/advanced what he had learned about back in the USSR and how what he learnt there and here helped him understand much more about things other than his job and jobs other than what he originally studied... Although the almost-void-of-people surrounding was impressively big and empty, my dad to me seemed so big and strong and even unbeatable... It was one of those moments where I had so many questions "Why/how ... this/that?" and feeling overwhelmed and proud of my dad answering all of these questions in a way that was so easy to understand but yet not over-simplified and could satisfy my curiosity just fine.
-- Half an hour walk also included having to cross the Dundgol, which sadly, now is not even a stream (hopefully yet). Yet there still remain some small trees and bushes and with the warm weather you could see fresh green baby grasses/leaves coming out. This reminded me, again, of my childhood. How when the spring came my dad used to take me and my sister our for a walk and to play outside/on the sand. Then he would make sure that we were not to step on the baby grasses and explained to us that they were like human babies, so fragile and weak and trying to make it through the tough time. Also he somehow convinced us to play so that the candy wrapping and other small garbage such as bottle caps etc., were to be collected and used as either money or candies (by wrapping small stones in them). So we used to have real sharp eyes for any unnatural even-if-not-colorful-stuffs laying in the ground or on trees :) Add to it my mum's love for flowers. My mum still has many different flowers and loves them so much that when she has to leave home for sometime the flowers are to be given as much attention as our pet dog. Mum, dad, thanks so much for raising us -city kids with supposedly "white hands" - with this much respect and love for nature.
-- When I went on a business trip with coworkers from work to countryside, I was so saddened to see all the garbage and bottle scattered in the otherwise clean nature, all the roads drawn so close to each other oftentimes overlapping at several point without much difference from one another all scarring the valleys and mountains ... as proof of impatience. I could not help thinking when I am retired and not volunteering in foreign countries, I shall make sure I spend time cleaning such mess, destruction even (if sadly enough the situation is still similar), if not training/talking to children, youth about the simple beauty of nature as part of joy to life.
-- Also I was lucky enough to enjoy company of an older guy, close to your age and two younger guys in the pick-up. As much as the the younger guys were fun to be with, with much things in common to talk and reminisce about, also as much as I enjoyed the older guy who was half-jokingly saying "I will make sure you meet my boy" as he also studied in Russia and has extensive experience of working, thus broad knowledge about life and work in the countryside as well,
Nothing beats you, noone impresses, moves me as YOU do DAD, and I miss you!
-- During the trip I had a dream about you. You seemed to tell me to take things as they are now and that you were happy to be remembered (to say the least) the way you were and that you WILL be back to me/us in your time. I could feel the warmth of a smile following the dream through my whole being, with my eyes closed, before I got up the next morning.
You are the inspiration
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
My MOTTO
these day:
Try looking at tomorrow not yesterday
And all the things you left behind
All those tender words you did not say
The gentle touch you couldn't find
In these days of nameless faces
There is no one truth but only pieces
My life is all i have to give
Dare to live until the very last
Dare to live forget about the past
Dare to live giving something of yourself to others
Even when it seems there's nothing more left to give
Ma se tu vedessi l'uomo
Davanti al tuo portone
Che dorme avvolto in un cartone,
Se tu ascoltassi il mondo una mattina
Senza il rumore della pioggia,
Tu che puoi creare con la tua voce,
Tu, pensi i pensieri della gente,
Poi, di Dio c'e solo Dio.
Vivere, nessuno mai ce l'ha insegnato,
Vivere, non si può vivere senza passato,
Vivere è bello anche se non l'hai chiesto mai,
Una canzone ci sarà, qualcuno che la canterà
Dare to live searching for the ones you love
(Perché, perché, perché, perché non vivi questa sera?)
Dare to live no one but we all
(Perché, perché, perché, perché non vivi ora?)
Dare to live until the very last
(Perché, perché, perché la vita non è vita)
Your life is all you have to give (Perché)
non l'hai vissuta
Vivere!
Dare to live until the very last
(Perché, perché, perché Ia vita non è vita)
Your life is all you have to give (Perché)
non l'hai vissuta mai
I will say no (I will say yes)
Say dare to live
Dare to live
Try looking at tomorrow not yesterday
And all the things you left behind
All those tender words you did not say
The gentle touch you couldn't find
In these days of nameless faces
There is no one truth but only pieces
My life is all i have to give
Dare to live until the very last
Dare to live forget about the past
Dare to live giving something of yourself to others
Even when it seems there's nothing more left to give
Ma se tu vedessi l'uomo
Davanti al tuo portone
Che dorme avvolto in un cartone,
Se tu ascoltassi il mondo una mattina
Senza il rumore della pioggia,
Tu che puoi creare con la tua voce,
Tu, pensi i pensieri della gente,
Poi, di Dio c'e solo Dio.
Vivere, nessuno mai ce l'ha insegnato,
Vivere, non si può vivere senza passato,
Vivere è bello anche se non l'hai chiesto mai,
Una canzone ci sarà, qualcuno che la canterà
Dare to live searching for the ones you love
(Perché, perché, perché, perché non vivi questa sera?)
Dare to live no one but we all
(Perché, perché, perché, perché non vivi ora?)
Dare to live until the very last
(Perché, perché, perché la vita non è vita)
Your life is all you have to give (Perché)
non l'hai vissuta
Vivere!
Dare to live until the very last
(Perché, perché, perché Ia vita non è vita)
Your life is all you have to give (Perché)
non l'hai vissuta mai
I will say no (I will say yes)
Say dare to live
Dare to live
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
